Bring it, March!

First, holy cow, it’s March already, and I’m a few days late in fact. Time really has flown.

Today has been filled with emotions. Today my husband and I drove an hour and a half to see another apartment and WE SIGNED! Woot! We officially move in in two weeks.

This brought happiness.

My husband accepted a job offer and started his dream job an hour and a half away in the big ol city, so the past two and a half months have been hell. We own a house so we couldn’t just up an leave, meaning countless hours of driving and long nights and way too many miles on his car.

We were SO lucky to have finally found a place, everywhere else wanted to add us to a wait list, saying it’d be at least two more months til something opened up. Uh, no thanks!

This works perfect because our move-in date is the start of Mikinley’s spring break, so getting her signed up for a new school will (hopefully) be an easier transition.

After a very happy drive home, we get settled in with the kids and make dinner and I start my usual weekend chores.

As I’m cleaning the kitchen and throwing away some junk mail and papers next to the microwave, I come across a folder, unsure of what it was. I didn’t think anything of it since it had been sitting in the same spot for at least two months, couldn’t be that important. I opened it up and saw what it was. There was a picture of my 8-week ultrasound, as well as a bunch of mom pamphlets and tips and encouragement.

This brought sadness.

I stood there and cried.

I have another photo of the ultrasound on the fridge, but find myself unable to look at it, I just kind of ignore it. but now seeing that picture unexpectedly kind of took the wind right out of me.

It’s funny how emotions work. I was very hurt and sad the first week after my miscarriage. The second was difficult, but I could make it through the day without crying. The longer time I had to heal, the better I felt. I was okay. Then something like this happens, I feel not okay.

I usually just wondered HOW this happened, not why.

This brought anger.

Why did that have to happen to me? Why did I have to lose the little life inside me? Why was he/she perfect at 8 weeks and then dead at 12? Why do I feel like a piece of my heart was taken and will never be returned?

January was filled with sadness as well, with the loss of my husband’s very close cousin. Then the loss of our baby in February. I found myself asking, towards the end of February, “What or who are we gonna lose in March?”

But you know what, screw that.

We’re not gonna lose a damn thing.

March is gonna be a restart month–we’re gonna restart 2017 on a happy note and focus on what we HAVE now and not what we have LOST.

I am so beyond excited to move and finally feel like a normal family again. I’m so excited to be in a new area and discover new adventures in the big city with my little family.

Heck, I’m stoked to be located near an awesome gym (according to my husband) that has childcare! Say what???

Needless to say, I’m excited for March and the big changes it will bring.

Your fresh start doesn’t always have to begin in January. you just have to be ready to change your state of mind and begin new when you’re heart is ready.

I’m ready, so bring it, March!

2 thoughts on “Bring it, March!

  1. Pj says:

    March has also brought out my inner beast to say bring it! I am so happy that there is sombody else out there that looks forward to conquering the battles that lay ahead, and is actually excited for it:) You posted exactly what I needed to see today. Thank you xoxoxo

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